Rule Sections 1–5 Updated
SECTION 1 — The Constitution
- This league operates under the supreme authority of the Commissioner (Noah).
- Any challenge to the Commissioner's judgment must be accompanied by a $20 protest fee and a 500‑word MLA essay.
SECTION 2 — League Governance
- League offices: Commissioner; Assistant to the Commissioner (optional, unpaid, decorative); Trash Talk Enforcement Unit (TTU); and League Historian (screenshots everything).
SECTION 3 — The Draft
- Managers must be sober or convincingly pretending.
- Auto‑drafting more than two rounds invites public ridicule captured for eternity by the Historian.
SECTION 4 — Entry Fees
- Entry fees are due before Week 1.
- Venmo notes like 'roof help' or 'feet pics' are discouraged and will age poorly.
SECTION 5 — Trades & Transactions
- Trades must be football‑motivated between consenting managers.
- Any trade made 'for the meme' may be investigated and roasted.